I paid seventy five dollars a month for internet for two years because I was convinced the price was the price. Then my neighbor mentioned he paid forty. Same provider, same street, same speed tier. I called to complain, and a fifteen minute conversation with a very bored customer service rep dropped my bill by thirty dollars a month. The rep literally had the discount ready and was waiting for someone to ask.

Why the published price is fake

Internet providers run on promotional pricing. The rate you see is for new customers only, and they count on existing customers never checking what they pay. Retention discounts, the deals they offer to keep you from leaving, are built into the system. The trick is that they only appear when you ask, or when the computer thinks you are about to cancel.

The call that works

Do not call angry. Call prepared. Here is the script that worked for me:

1. Check what your provider currently charges new customers for your speed. Have that number ready.
2. Call and say you are reviewing your budget and noticed the new customer rate is lower than what you pay. Ask if they can match it.
3. If they say no, ask to be transferred to the retention or cancellation department. This is where the real discounts live.
4. When they offer a deal, ask for it in writing or take down the reference number. And set a reminder for when the promo expires.

The calendar trick that keeps it low

The promo price always expires, usually after twelve months. So I put a reminder on my calendar for eleven months after every call. When it fires, I spend fifteen minutes on the phone repeating the whole process. An hour a year of phone time saves me three hundred sixty dollars. That is the best hourly rate I earn anywhere.

When the call does not work

If retention will not budge, ask about downgrading for a month or two. Providers hate losing speed tiers and will often offer a discount to keep you on the faster plan. If they still will not move, check if a competing provider services your address and mention it by name. You do not have to actually switch. You just have to make the computer believe you might.