I did not know I clenched my jaw until my dentist pointed out that my molars were wearing flat. “You are grinding,” she said. “At night, probably. But also during the day.” She was right — I caught myself clenching while reading emails, while driving, while watching TV.

She gave me a mouthguard for sleeping. But the daytime clenching needed a different approach.

The Tongue Position Trick

Your jaw cannot clench when your tongue is in the right position. Try it: clench your teeth. Now press your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth, just behind your front teeth. Your jaw relaxes automatically — the tongue position physically prevents the masseter muscles from fully engaging.

This is called the “N-spot” or resting tongue posture. It is where your tongue should be all the time — lightly suctioned to the roof of your mouth, teeth slightly apart, lips together. Most people with jaw clenching have their tongue resting low, which allows the jaw muscles to stay engaged.

How to Build the Habit

1. Set a phone reminder every hour that just says “tongue.”
2. When the reminder goes off, check: are your teeth touching? If yes, separate them and put your tongue on the roof of your mouth.
3. After a week, you will start catching yourself without the reminder.

It took me about two weeks to make it automatic. My jaw pain — a dull ache near my ears that I had assumed was just stress — disappeared completely. The mouthguard helps at night, but during the day, it is just tongue position.