There was a stretch last year where it took me ninety minutes to fall asleep every single night. I would lie there staring at the ceiling, mentally replaying everything I had said wrong that day, calculating how many hours of sleep I would get if I fell asleep right now — which of course made it impossible to fall asleep right now.

I tried melatonin. It gave me vivid nightmares about showing up to work without pants. I tried counting sheep. My brain got bored and started counting the sheep’s retirement plans. Here is what finally worked.

The Military Method

The US Navy developed a technique to help pilots fall asleep in under two minutes, even in combat zones. It works. Here is the sequence:

First, relax your face. All of it — your jaw, your tongue, the muscles around your eyes. Then drop your shoulders as low as they will go. Let your arms go limp, one side at a time. Breathe out slowly and feel your chest relax. Then your legs — thighs, calves, ankles. Feel them sink into the mattress.

Now clear your mind for ten seconds. If thoughts intrude, repeat the words “don’t think” in your head over and over. After ten seconds, picture one of two scenes: you are lying in a canoe on a calm lake under a blue sky, or you are in a velvet hammock in a pitch-black room. Hold that image.

The first time I tried this, I was asleep within three minutes. It felt like a magic trick.

The 4-7-8 Breathing

This one takes even less practice. Breathe in through your nose for four seconds. Hold it for seven seconds. Exhale through your mouth for eight seconds, making a whoosh sound. Do this four times. The extended exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system — the one that tells your body to calm down. Your heart rate drops. Your mind follows.

Get Out of Bed

If you have been in bed for more than twenty minutes and you are still wide awake, get up. Go to another room. Do something boring — read a physical book, not your phone. No screens. Come back to bed only when you feel sleepy. The worst thing you can do is train your brain to associate your bed with frustration.