I burned myself on bacon grease three times before I admitted the stovetop method was stupid. Not just once — three separate mornings, three separate grease pops, three separate times I yelled in my kitchen while my dog looked at me like I was an idiot.

Then I tried the oven. It has been four years and I have not cooked bacon on the stovetop since.

How to Do It

Put the bacon on a cold baking sheet lined with parchment paper or foil. Do not preheat the pan — starting cold lets the fat render slowly and evenly. Put the sheet in a cold oven, set it to 400°F, and walk away.

The bacon cooks as the oven comes to temperature. Total time is about 18-22 minutes depending on thickness and how crispy you like it. No flipping. No standing over the pan dodging grease bullets. Just check it once around the 15-minute mark.

Why the Oven Wins

Three things. First, no splatter — the sides of the baking sheet contain everything. Second, the bacon cooks completely flat. No curling. Every bite is the same texture. Third, you can cook an entire package at once. No batches. No cold bacon waiting while the second round fries.

Stovetop bacon gets those curled edges that burn while the middle stays floppy. Oven bacon is the same doneness edge to edge. It sounds like a small thing but once you see it you cannot unsee it.

The Cleanup Trick

Here is the part most people get wrong: let the grease cool and solidify on the parchment paper. Then just lift the parchment out and toss it. The baking sheet underneath is practically clean.

If you are in a hurry, pour the warm grease into a jar (not down the drain — your plumber will send you a thank-you note in the form of a massive bill). Scrape any residue while the pan is still warm and it comes right off.